FACT SHEET
Sydney Process Counselling and Therapy
Practical Hints to Manage and Deal with Change

1. Change is inevitable, so if we feel 'out of control' of what is happening to us externally, our attitude towards change can help or hinder us. Understand the change and make a clear plan of action to deal with it, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially and spiritually.
2. When our life is no longer 'business as usual', through any sort of loss or illness, develop more flexibility and adaptability and focus on any 'positives', seeing the 'glass half full' rather than 'half empty'. See changes as learning experiences and have an attitude of curiosity.
3. Identify 'negative self - talk' and inner criticism that lowers our self esteem and makes us doubt ourselves. Replace them with knowing our value and appreciating our achievements and accomplishments in life. Belief systems such as, 'I should, I ought to, I have to, other people expect me to, if only I had said that or done this etc.' are not that useful.
4. Changes often make us feel fearful. Know what you are scared of and identify ways to deal with those fears. Challenge irrational belief systems. We are only fearful if we do not have the skills, learning or knowledge. We are actually very resilient and adapt well.
5. Remember that the changes that we don't like, will also change!
6. Manage our stress, through eating healthy food, sleeping well, exercising, relaxing, meditation etc. Reduce drugs and alcohol.
7. Network and talk with colleagues, friends and family. Get support and/or counselling. Look for new opportunities for yourself.
8. Talk to people you feel close to, rather than isolating yourself or holding it all inside. Don't think you are a burden on others or weak. People like to give support and help and we all have times in our life when we need support. Strong crying can release a chemical which has a substance that anaesthetises the body and enables you to survive better.
9. Use your creativity and innovative ideas to let go of how you think your life 'should' be and deal with what is happening. Try not to judge yourself.
10. Put the change in perspective and don't fixate on it. Learn and apply new skills. Know it is normal to go through a transition phase where you will may have lots of feelings, eg. loss and grief, anger, hurt and upset etc. You may be in denial for a while, feeling numb and unmotivated. You may feel frustration, resentment or withdraw, or feel overwhelmed with little focus or motivation. You may be depressed for a while, anxious, guilty or confused and have physical symptoms or can't concentrate. Acceptance does come though and knowing that it is natural to go through different stages, can help. 'Go with the flow' with the change and with yourself.

QUOTATIONS ON CHANGE

• BE the change you want to see in the world.- Mahatma Gandhi
• Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable. - Denis Waitley
• Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change. - Dr. Wayne Dyer
• Everything is connected. No one thing can change by itself.
• If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. - Mary Engelbreit
• When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. - Victor Frankl
• Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer. - Shunryu Suzuki
• If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change. - John A. Simone, Sr.
• When you are through changing, you are through. - Bruce Barton
• Life is its own journey, presupposes its own change and movement, and one tries to arrest them at one's eternal peril. - Laurens van der Post
• Every beginning is a consequence - every beginning ends some thing. - Paul Valery
• Things do not change; we change. - Henry David Thoreau
• Our only security is our ability to change. - John Lilly
• Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are. - Bertold Brecht
• It is not the years but the changes that make us grow. - Neal Maxwell
• All appears to change when we change. - Henri-Frederic Amiel
• When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge. - Tuli Kupferberg
• They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. - Andy Warhol
• Nothing endures but change. - Heraclitus
• Nothing we can do can change the past, but everything we do changes the future.' - Ashleigh Brilliant

If you can neither accept it or change it, try to laugh at it. The only way to change our lives is by changing our minds.