FACT SHEET
Sydney Process Counselling and Therapy
Handy Hints for Dealing with the Internal Critic

You may not feel that you need to see a therapist but sometimes when we begin to give ourselves a 'hard time', it is a struggle to free ourselves from our perfect standards and stop criticising ourselves. Here are some psychological therapeutic hints to work on yourself.

1. Don't listen to the critic. Say to the critic, 'you can go on, all you want in the back of my mind, but I'm just going to ignore you and get on with something else.'
2. Tell the critic to shut up, go away, out the door. You are just not interested in hearing from it anymore.
3. Trace the history of where your critic comes from. Did you have a critical parent or teacher figure in your life? Dialogue with that figure now and tell them that you no longer need them around.
4. Explore the dream figure behind the critic figure. Eg. it might say that it only wants you to do very well, succeed etc. Then point out that making you feel bad is the worst possible way of helping you be successful.
5. Develop a loving, supportive part of yourself which will always be on your side and stand up for you.
6. Negotiate with the critic.eg. 'what you are saying to me may be useful However the way you tell me is abusive and attacking and makes me feel bad about myself. So, if you want me to change, you have to be supportive.'

Dealing with an External Critic

1. Have an open and curious attitude. Think, 'how interesting that person thinks that about me,' and drop it.
2. Use the criticism as a spiritual warriorship exercise to find out more about yourself and how you react and other's perceptions of you.
3. Say to the person, 'I actually don't think that about myself, but I appreciate that is your perception'
4. Use conflict resolution skills with the person criticizing you, be on your side, go on their side, etc.
5. Don't engage with the person and do inner work.
6. Set appropriate boundaries.
7. Get support, find someone to help you with that person.
8. Find a way to stand up for yourself, while respecting the other's point of view.
9. Obtain information on bullying and seek help from a therapist if you need it.